London to NewYark. My cleverest title yet.

Cough, cough, splutter, splutter. Ill people eveywhere, each adding their own flavour to the mix of diseased, recycled cabin air being forcibly breathed by everyone onboard. It's a clean-freak's nightmare. A woman sat at my 2 o'clock is hacking her lungs up with nothing more than a token mouth-covering once every ten splutters. It's awful. Another guy to my 7 sounds wheezier than James Cordon after five minutes of Wii Sports. I'm convinced that by the time I land (which oddly is going to be in the past by now) I'll have some sort of international super-flu that'll make bird flu look like a man-cold. Anyway, had a good time last night in the hostel bar, drinking pretty much the cheapest pints in London ever - £1.25 during happy hour! I met several interesting people, including a Danish guy who confirmed the shit state of the pound by telling me the minimum wage in Denmark is about 9 quid an hour, and an Aussie bloke necking Castlemaine XXXX after catching his (clearly now ex-) girlfriend cheating on him. But in typical antipodean style, he was ridiculously upbeat, shrugging it off like it was a minor inconvenience. On top of these too (not quite literally) were two Americans... Or rather one followed by a couple. Both heralded from the mid-west - Michigan and Indianna respectively, and both offered to put me up were I to head out that way next week, which is of course a possibility. I started talking comedy with Ryan, the first guy, and when I asked his favourite standup, he told me he'd recently died. Instantly knew it was George Carlin and worded him up accordingly. Emma, the girl from the couple offered to get me into a frat party were I to swing by her university, which sounds almost too hilarious an opportunity to miss! Anyway, I'm going to wrap this up now... My mind is still numb from sitting through Body of Lies - the only thing that kept me turning it off was the prospect of seeing more of Russell Crowe's compelling take on Rory Bremner's George Bush impersonation. Other than that, it's a big load of turd. That's me done...currently 90 minutes from Newark. Next stop: Harlem. And don't worry, there's a very strong possibility I won't be wearing any racially provocative sandwich-board signs. Very strong indeed.